One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
