if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
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