What a fucking waste of an outfit
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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