Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm like, not good at living.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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