Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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