four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
