I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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