everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I wear drunk well.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
