Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
