oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
