I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
