Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
