I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize