i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
wow bdsm is so cute
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
