We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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