oh god the rape fog is back!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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