Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
