I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i think i scared a bird with my dick
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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