I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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