fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Fuck appropriateness.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
not ubering you a puppy
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
