I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
