woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
