Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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