the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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