We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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