She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
