i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
