I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Quick, to the slutcave!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
