Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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