He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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