6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
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