It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
