I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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