just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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