the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she looked like the before picture.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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