I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
