Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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