he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
