She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
