I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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