Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
