Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
