He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize