OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
