I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
