Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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