some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
