ugly people sure do ruin things
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
