i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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