How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
