and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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