Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
