I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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