I love black thongs
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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