when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
