remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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