You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
