There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
