I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I don't deserve a penis
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize