How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
