...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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