Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
