i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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