Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
