I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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