i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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