absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize