Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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