so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
