I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
