508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize