I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
