there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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