..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
