we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i drank out of a bidet.
Green mimosas i think yes
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
