I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
