He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
