Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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