Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Blood and glitter go together right?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
