all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
