Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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