Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I wish my penis had an off switch
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
