I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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